The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
