She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
