Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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