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I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
