Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
