I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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