Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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