we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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