I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
