I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize