Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
