there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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