perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
