I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
