I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
