I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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