Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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