will power is for people who don't want to get laid
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
