Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
