Ambien. No doubt about it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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