dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
my poor anus
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
