i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize