i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
