I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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