So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
