when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
