feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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