we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
