Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
