apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
