I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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