Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
