Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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