I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
