I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Farmville is her only friend.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
