why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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