Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
