Your dad touched me again.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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