But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I sprained my soul last night
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
