when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
