and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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