So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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