it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
