I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
