Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize