My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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