More tranny stories later!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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