I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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