I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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