I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
