do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
