OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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