I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
