you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
