I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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