I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hope mine doesn't look like that
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
