I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
