at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
