I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
