obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
