my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
