I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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