the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
